How do you Manage Conflict?

How does Conflict affect you?

How comfortable are you with conflict? How does it show up in your daily life? Do you avoid or run away from it? Or ID-100206984maybe you face it, but you become defensive or stressed out?

Conflict is a disagreement, collision, opposition or struggle for power. This word alone can leave people cringing, yet it is all around us, showing up in every facet of world issues, (politics, healthcare, religion) and in our daily relationships – from the guy who bumped your car in the parking lot, to the disagreement you had with a friend.

If conflict is all around us, then why does it create so much negative energy? Why does conflict cause tension, pain, defensiveness, fighting and stress?

How does that stress then manifest in your body? How well are you sleeping and being fully present in the moment? What does it do to your energy levels?

Now, I’m not going to solve world peace (in this article), but I have learned a thing or two about conflict. These things can alleviate some of the havoc conflict might be creating in your life, and help you find peace and fulfillment sooner rather than later.

How to Find Fulfillment When There’s Conflict

  1. Get Curious :  If we are not avoiding it, then we are probably getting worked up about it. This then leads to more conflict, arguing and finger pointing. Approaching conflict with curiosity means trying to understand another point of view. This helps diminish your stressful reaction to it.
  2. Have compassion:  Chances are the other person just wants to be heard and understood. Take the high road,  and acknowledge the situation — even if you don’t agree with it.
  3. Detached Involvement:  This is the art of being involved in a situation but not being emotionally attached to an outcome or how someone else is feeling. This allows you to truly listen without the need to prove anything or be right.
  4. See the Solution:  Every conflict, can present an opportunity for growth. By seeing a solution you can help create an even more powerful idea, connection or outcome. The conflict can actually lead to something even more rewarding.
  5. Lean Into It:  Many of us avoid or run away from it. This passiveness only delays the awkwardness and creates more stress. So address it, right away (with curiosity and compassion). Make the phone call, have the talk, listen and acknowledge. What do you have to lose?

How do you manage conflict? Do you see it as your friend, or do you run for the hills? How can getting curious, having compassion, seeing the solution, leaning into it and practicing detached involvement create a more fulfilling and rewarding outcome for you?

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